Grodence Here:

Hello my loyal subscribers, and anyone else who reads this blog. I know that it has been a few months since I have created a post, so I apologize to all for starving you of content. I have been going through a stressful time, the details of which I will keep private, which have prevented me from taking the time to write my posts. However, I wanted to create this post so everyone could see something that I wrote.

My lovely twin sister, Andrea, who I may have mentioned on this blog once or twice just got married today to a wonderful and tall gentleman named Russell. I am very happy for both of them, and they compliment each other. Because of my status as twin brother of the bride, Andrea and Russell bestowed upon me the honor of Co-Officiating, or marrying them, alongside Russell’s cousin Peter. In addition to giving them rings and pronouncing them husband and wife, the two of us wrote personal speeches, and I will be posting my speech here for all to read. I have to say that Andrea and Russell got their money’s worth with my officiating performance, and I am most proud of the fact that my speech made my Father cry. Have a read:

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I remember, during New Years Eve in 2022, I was visiting Andrea in her apartment, and we were talking about our concerns.  I expected her to say that her biggest concern would be climate change, since she’s worried about it before, and is still passionate about that issue.  But she said that while she had a lot of friends, her biggest concern was that she was not yet married and was not yet a parent.  In the months that followed, she met Russell and they started to have a serious relationship.  Flash forward to August 2023, I was coming back from our ski house in Vermont, and I played a round of golf in Brattleboro.  As I was walking up to the tee box on the 8^th hole, staring at the green at the bottom of the hill, a beautiful view in front of me, I was thinking about our conversation that New Years Eve, thinking about Andrea and Russell dating, and I hoped that she was happy.

I want to start by talking about my twin sister Andrea.  What do you mean to me?  Everything.  I have known you longer than anyone else in this world, longer than I have been alive, which is a unique thing to say.  I am blessed to be your twin brother, and I think that we are inseparable.  You were my playmate and my first friend.  I think about you on a frequent basis, and you were, and still are, my best friend.  You always give me good advice when I ask for it, but just as importantly, when I’m in a bad mood, and all I want is for someone to say “I understand you, I sympathize with you”, that is exactly what you say.  Andrea’s imagination and creativity is obvious to all who know her, but I got to see it as early as the age of 7, when the two of us would come up with multiple usages for an elephant slide that we turned upside down, or when we would create a game in involving a jump rope and a pole with 25 levels of difficulty.

Russell, it has been a pleasure getting to know you over these past few years.  It is cool that you are passionate about tennis, and I enjoyed getting inside knowledge about the different tennis players when we went to the U.S Open together, and it is great that Andrea is now taking up tennis so you two can play together.  As a political junkie, it is nice to meet a kindred spirit who has worked in New York City government, and who is interested not only in domestic politics, but global politics like me.  As a male who will be as close to Andrea as I am, it is imperative that you look out for her as much as she looks out for you.

So, to address the topic of why we are here today, what is the meaning of marriage?  In my view, it is about a couple of things.  It is about commitment to one another and trying your best to make the marriage work.  It is about intimacy, not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy, like missing your spouse dearly when they are gone.  It is also acknowledging that since we are human, none of us are perfect, and that we have traits that may irritate our spouse and cause arguments, but that we love them all the same.

In my 36 years of existence, I have learned that there are many things that I think are going to happen, and a few things that I know with certainty.  I think that Mikie Sherrill will be elected Governor of this state next month.  When I go grocery shopping next, I think I will buy mussels instead of fish.  Having observed Andrea and Russell in their relationship, I know that you both love each other deeply, and I know that this day marks the beginning of a new chapter in their lives that will be filled with joy for both of you.  Having gotten to know Russell over these past few years, I know that you are smart, self-depreciating, and charming, and will make a good husband and father.  Knowing Andrea my whole life, knowing her as my twin sister, I know that you will be a good wife, and a great mother.

Finally, one last thing.  Andrea would make decisions by asking me to pick a number between 1 and 10, and if I picked an even number, she would choose one thing, and if I picked an odd number, she would choose the other.  As an officiant, I have the power to decide whether to allow this Union to go forward, and I am having a hard time deciding.  So, Andrea and Russell, please choose a number between 1 and 10. Well, you chose a ______number, so that means this marriage can happen.